Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
