No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
