I hate your face
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
