Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just took my morning after pill in the library
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
