I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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