i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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