Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
