I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
