my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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