I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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