We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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