I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize