thus making me awesome and them whores
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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