I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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