This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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