Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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