Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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