I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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