Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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