he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
