Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
