also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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