I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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