I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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