We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
