Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
