? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
