so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
