I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize