some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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