Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize