Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
