I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry about my life...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
