yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is Oprah even human
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
