based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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