I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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