I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ðŸ˜ðŸ’€#pensacolaproblems
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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