listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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