Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
