Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
