Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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