i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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