They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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