I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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