Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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