i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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