I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize