Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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