I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
