my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
