I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
