question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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