he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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