We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
