Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
